ASTRONOMY VS ASTROLOGY P 1: PUNCHES ARE THROWN

OMG U GAIZ. Something recently happened that shock my ROCK HARD BELIEF in the wonderful and precise science of ASTROLOGY.

So apparently some troublemaker astronomers at the Minnesota Planetarium Society were like "HAY THE ZODIAC SIGNS ARE ALL WRONG CUZ THE EARTH'S ALIGNMENT HAS CHANGED. ALSO THE BABYLONIANS DIDN'T WANT THE SNAKE PEOPLE TO EXIST SO THEY THREW OUT SUPER SECRET PARSELMOUTH ZODIAC OPHIUCUS."

Here's a more detailed/ coherent explanation by the awesomely named Parke Kunkle:

"If you take a toy top and spin it, it spins around an axis and that axis tends to point in different directions. It moves around. That's what we call precession. So in Earth's case, right now, Earth's spin axis points towards Polaris, the North Star. But in 3000 BC, the Earth's axis pointed towards a different star, Thuban. And that majestic motion takes about 26,000 years. so if you went from 3,000 B.C. and waited 26,000 years, you'd have the north star Thuban again."

(I think Parke Kunkle is a wizard, fyi. He kinda talks like one)

How did the astrologers react to this bit of news? They got really mad and said "Oh, fuck off, science! Listen up, we don't actually base the zodiac on the alignment of the STARS, we base it on the EQUINOX. SO TAKE THAT. Your science is PISS."