Ahoy there! I enjoy posting blogs about once every six months, because no one reads them anyway. It is a thing that is fun to do.
So what's new? I recently read a trilogy by David Eddings (and his unacknowledged wife Leigh Eddings). In it the brave champion Sparhawk uses a jewel of power, the Bhelliom, to defeat people who are trying to fuck with the world. That's right. THEY TRYING TO FUCK WITH THE WORLD. And the Bhelliom actually is this immense unfathomable spirit that created the Earth. The fantasy earth of David Eddings and his invisible wife.
This got me thinking about jewels and all those diamond commercials I've been seeing on the TV box lately. I think someone needs to make a diamond commercial that resembles a fantasy movie trailer.
"This winter...an evil gathers to the North. An evil that won't stop until it has plunged the entire world in darkness. Our only hope? A stone of great beauty and power, a stone created from a dragon's tears--- it is the Bringer-of-Death to those whose hearts are not pure. Only the most valiant woman may wield it. That woman is your mate, and you are her champion."
My little sister recently mentioned the jewelry store at BJ's Wholesale Club. I absentmindedly started singing "Every kiss begins with b...j..." then looked around guiltily.
Today I played a game with Maddy. It was called "chase these snowballs I kick for you so that you don't have to rip Bailey's face off. It's really okay to have fun without killing other animals." The title might need to be shortened a bit.
THAT IS ALL FOR NOW I HOPE YOU ENJOY HOT COCOAS. MADE BY NESTLE. THAT IS A FREE AD I JUST DID FOR YOU NESTLE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT NESTLE FOODS.
4 comments:
That would be one jewelry ad which DOESN'T make me laugh. Although I think it would be even greater if it was for one of those seasonal special product things...like a triple-studded ring, or necklace, or something, and it was written like a prophecy.
"Three stones, sundered by the gods in ancient times, will now be brought together for the first time in millenia, creating an object of unfathomable power...this Valentine's day, show her you care by questing to the ends of the universe, and to the pits of hell, braving the forces of darkness, and gift her with the Tears of the Elder Elves. It will be a gift she will never forget."
Or some such thing. I can't come up with this stuff on the fly.
Well...that...gives quite a whole new meaning to "BJ's Wholesale Club." ((O_O))
Or...well, that wasn't really a prophecy, was it.
"This Valentine's day, one will rise, who is both strong of limb and pure of heart, a hero who will save the universe from the machinations of the War."
And then the bit about questing through the forces of darkness to find and unite the three jewels and giving it to his lady :-)
You officially win the jewel of great power commercial writing contest! I bet you didn't even know it existed.
It's a secret contest first created by Lysandril, ancient queen of the Elder Elves. Every year, on the anniversary of her death, the great and the mighty compete to win. However, it can only be won by one pure of heart.
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